The Proof Comes After You Begin with Ashley Lougheed, Founder Girl Time Inc.

Some women wait for the room they want to walk into. Ashley Lougheed built hers. In this episode of The Designed Life, Ameera sits down with the founder of Girl Time Inc., a women’s leadership facilitator, educator, community builder, and bestselling author whose work began with a feeling instead of a solid plan.

Ashley shares how she turned a single gathering into a community, a physical space called The Hub, a bestselling book series, and a program that shifts the trajectory of women’s businesses and lives. You will hear how she handled the people who called it an expensive hobby, why she chose to build her own name instead of standing under her father’s or her husband’s, and the practice she returns to every time she wants to quit.

This conversation is for women in leadership, women founders, and any woman sensing there is something more for her. Self-worth as a North Star. Community as fuel. Permission you give yourself.

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Website: girltimeinc.com

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The Designed Life with Ameera Virani and all associated content is intended for general informational, educational, and inspirational purposes only. The insights shared on this podcast, as well as any linked resources or materials, are not a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This podcast is not intended to replace the guidance of a licensed therapist, medical professional, financial advisor, or other qualified professionals. Always seek the advice of your personal support team.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Today's episode of The Design Life is for women everywhere who are exploring what's next for them, be it the next level of your career or your next project or business. Or maybe you are someone who seems to have it all but feels like there's something more for you and you're just not sure what it is or where to begin. So if that sounds familiar, today's episode is for you because my guest did not start with a blueprint. She started with a feeling, a sense that the room she was looking for didn't yet exist. So she would have to build it for herself. And build it she did, from a community to a physical space to a best-selling book series to a program that changes the trajectory of women's businesses and lives. She is a women's leadership facilitator, educator, community builder, author, and the founder of Girl Time Inc. She created The Hub, which is a physical social community space and platform for women in business, in leadership, and in life. But before all of that, before the programs and the platform and the space, there was a moment, a catalyst, a season where something inside her said, The life I'm waiting for is not coming unless I go design it. So today I invite you to listen for what that moment was, how she navigated the uncertainty, what the synchronicities looked like, and how she learned to trust the signs even before she had all the answers. Because I believe that success leaves clues. Ashley Loheed, welcome to the show. Let me start by asking you to share with us before Girl Time Inc., before the hub and before the books, who were you? What were you doing? And more importantly, what were you feeling in the years before you built all of this?

SPEAKER_02 1:38

First, I'd like to say like that was the best introduction I've ever heard. So thank you for taking the time to create that. I'm sitting here listening and I'm like, wow, she sounds so cool. Uh and you know what? If I could go back to the girl who, you know, before it was all created, that's what I would tell her she's about to go do. So design the life, absolutely. Before Girl Time Mink was even a thing, it was actually created because I wanted more. I was a mom fairly new to the game. I had a four-year-old and a newborn. I had just moved back to our hometown after being gone for 14 years. And I was the transient. I was the new girl in the scene, but yet this is where I was born and raised. So slowly but surely, I did what I normally do, which is I bring women together. And it was easy. It was always easy for me to do that. I can hear them on a different octave. So I started a run club. I started finding women who were had the same interests as me and who were in the same kind of like age and phase, but most importantly, who also wanted more. My brain was lit up. And although my daily duties were, you know, changing diapers and making sure everyone survived the day, it was there's this energy inside of me and this desire to go and be a part of something bigger than me that was driving the ship. So what I mean by that is I started meeting other women, other women who had young children, but they were focusing their time with their new families, but also with side hustles or ambitions. So together with this community of women, we signed up for races, for extreme adventures. We created events. We literally were like, what can we do to fuel us as women, energize our kids, show them that there's so much life out there. We literally were like, let's take on the world. But together we could. There was moments of defeat and self-exploration as this new role as being a mom. Together, we found support and inspiration, and we could literally breathe life back into each other. So before Girl Time Inc. was actually a business, I'm a primary junior teacher by trait. I was creating programs and series and all of the real roots of Girl Time Inc in the classroom. So catapult ahead with this group of women, organizing and creating events came very natural to me. It's second hat. I could create. So in this new community, we started putting things together. There were some of my friends, they were going back to work and they were consultants or they were starting new businesses. So for them, they needed the support and their audience. Whereas I had friends on the audience side who were looking for literally the businesses to support them. So my role became the bridge. So I married the women in business to the women in life and I brought them together with socials and events and activities and charities and anything that we could do to really bring back our energy and thrive in the creativity. So in November, I would host a bubbles party. And what that meant is that I would bring in vendors, women in business, and I would showcase them. Well, at the same time, I would invite a very large number of women to my house and I would fuel them. And it just so happened that the fuel was good music, really amazing charcuterie boards, and a lot of bubbles, aka champagne. But what ended up happening is that this bubbles party grew. And then year after year, it got bigger. So November 2018, I, along with two other of my girlfriends who are equally as jazzed up about events, we hosted the biggest bubbles party in my house. There was over a hundred women, there were 12 vendors, we had a fashion show, we had an inspirational speaker, we had a dance party, we had it all. That night was the catalyst because that story is equally as important. At the time, my soul sister was cleared of cancer. And at this bubbles party, I made this grand speech and I toasted to her and her daughters, who were my nieces. And we were celebrating her health and the energy of this magnificent room of women and what we can do when we actively support each other. Three days after that bubbles party, we found out that her cancer had returned, but this time it went above and it she had 11 lesions all throughout her brain. Fast forward, that was November 2018, July 2019. I stood with her daughters and my daughter in front of her burial and saying our final goodbyes. So sorry. Thank you. What Sabrina plus the Bubbles Party, plus this group of magnificent women that I surrounded myself with, that our children were all surrounded by, what they taught me was connection, community, and collaboration. And they also showed me this massive need that they were all asking for. So January 2020, after fully knowing that everyone was anticipating a November party, I in 2019, I declined it. I was not ready. I was in grief. But in January, I woke up and I was like, we're going. And it came as a download of Girl Time Inc. uh platform that would bring women and girls together in community, in connection, in collaboration. And we would fuel and boost and actively support each other in ways that our town had never seen before. I launched my business right at the forefront of this pandemic. And there were a lot of people who were like, this is going to be a hobby, you're not going to make it happen. But then there was this beautiful driving force of everything I had just seen and experienced that said, yeah, you are. And that's where, you know, lines of synchronicity and the universe stepped in. And I literally designed everything because I was leading with my heart and at times my own grief. So Inc. was born because I needed it to process, but also to live.

SPEAKER_00 8:43

That is such a beautiful story. And I'm really sorry to hear of your loss. I know personally what that loss feels like. I empathize deeply. What I'm really touched by is how you took something that was already beautifully created, but then really gave it that layer of meaning and connection through your friend. I'm curious about something you said. You mentioned as you started to create this, and it was coming from this place of need for you as well as honoring your friend. You mentioned there were people who said it would be a hobby that it wouldn't succeed. Tell me more about that. How did you receive that? What did it do for you or to you?

SPEAKER_02 9:25

So, in my life experience, I have very big energy. And with that, I can attract a lot of love and a lot of, you know, teamwork. And oh my gosh, I just want to be in that. I also can propel anything that has insecurities, threats, competition, comparison. I know the best of women. I really do. I have literally designed a world that puts me right in the middle of the best of the women. Just like there's an up, there's a down, everything is dualities of this world, oppositional balance. I also know the worst in women. And with that, in my experiences, I know full out that whatever I create, girl timing related, it is going to attract and it is going to repel. And sometimes the repelling can be very loud. And it comes from women who have their own triggers and their own sister wounds that get triggered just by the look and the sound and the energy that is created. Because in their stories, their wounds are deep and not healed yet. They also may not even know how to get through that. My story also is that through my business, girl timing, I healed really big sister wounds. I now have a trust. I've spent years working on rebuilding what it means to trust other women, what it means to hold space with other women and not be in comparison, threat, and competition. The other opposing views that I, you know, went right up against, and I do mean that literally, were actually from men. They didn't understand the concept, and that's where this is just going to be an expensive hobby. I actually heard comments because of who my husband is and coming back home, who my father is. Well, she's just under daddy's wing, or she's just cashing in with her husband. So they really did not give it legs before it could even run. And comments were coming directly from men who didn't understand, or maybe in their own way, were threatened by the power that was being created within us, within women. Some ladies would go home, post an event, and express and just be in this great energy. And their husbands would be like, well, where's the guy time anger? So, in that kind of energy, though, like when it's opposing you, for me, it actually fuels the courage, but also the challenge. I do not bow my head to a challenge. And I look at anything of that standing as an opportunity for me to learn, you know, really learn. Because if this is going to be my obstacle, then this is also going to be my opportunity. Which side of the coin do I want to, you know, fully reflect on? And sometimes I'd say both.

SPEAKER_00 12:19

What do you feel that you learned from that experience that you could pass on to a woman today who's listening and perhaps facing that same opposition or dissent or doubt about what she is building or dreaming of building?

SPEAKER_02 12:34

I would say at that time I created this term, oppositional balance. And it's as simple as, like I already said, up, down, left, right, yes, no, dark light. And I'd say you need it. You need to have the pushback, the obstacles, the no's, the challenges, just as much as you need the green light goes. You need both because you can't actually have one without the other. So when you already know you're going to face that, you already know that this is what the trajectory is going to bring me. It actually anchors you in your belief in yourself, in that heart whisper that keeps you up at night. And in those times that you're in the glory, it helps you celebrate it. It helps you really be like, holy, I just did that. I climbed that mountain. Now I get to enjoy the view. Whereas in the opposing, when it's challenging and it's hard because it will be, that is optional, oppositional balance. So when it's hard, it gives you an indicator of where you are. And it's like that sign that you see right before you get on an elevator. It says, you are here. That's what, that's where you are. So then you have an opportunity to either go in the elevator and push up or go in the elevator and push down. It gives you choice because it blends the realistic as well as the dreamer's mentality.

SPEAKER_00 14:05

Ashley, I love what you've just shared because I do believe you can't appreciate the light without the darkness. You can't appreciate the warmth without the cold. It's that contrast in life that allows us to experience all that there is for us to have and enjoy. I genuinely appreciate you sharing the lesson and how it is there to give us that compass forward. I know that you married your high school sweetheart and you're raising children. What was it like building a business and raising a family?

SPEAKER_02 14:35

So when I launched the business again, it was 2020. My husband's in the medical field. He's an orthopedic surgeon. And my father is a locally renowned businessman. So when I started off, I told both of them that I'm gonna bootstrap this from ground up. It will be on me, my time, my money, my effort, dream, all of it. All I ask is that you back me in your support and belief. And when I am low, just witness me in the low. And when I'm high, celebrate me in the high. That is one thing to have those conversations in your own home. It is another to know that, you know, we do live in a what would be deemed a small town. So that is a voice that you cannot control out there. So while Girl Time Inc was well received in so many communities, it was also not because of the stigmas that I had it handed to me that this would be easy. What a lot of people don't know is that there, again, there's a choice to it. 100% could I back and use the umbrella that my father built? Yes, very much so. And could I ask my husband to help me financially, you know, put this through? Of course. But that's not what I wanted. That's not what I grew up knowing. I watched my father build and I knew what it took. And there's so much more than just being, you know, going to university and learning. You really have to apply everything in in real time and in real connection and real relationships. What I knew that I had going for me is that I had the most amazing kula of women who were supporting me and believing in me. And right beside that was my own self, fully believing that I will bet on me any day of the week, whether I have a 10 cents to my name or 10,000. Like energetically, I knew that whatever I was putting into it, I would grow. And I also had this like beautiful vision board. And I wrote down my five-year plan on the back of it. And I ensured that my five-year mark, I looked at it and that's exactly what happened. So I have this belief system that when you are really creating something, no matter what supports are around or what you don't have supporting you, there is something bigger than you that's helping you with the trajectory of what you're creating. Now, match that with the impact that Girl Timing has had. It's beautiful. And I just celebrated six years in business yesterday.

SPEAKER_00 17:11

Oh, wow.

SPEAKER_02 17:12

And what has now changed is that the community knows the effort, the time, the dedication, the grit that I have had separate of my husband, separate of my father, and primarily because of the will that I have for it to succeed.

SPEAKER_00 17:30

That's an incredible story. And so true. When you are connected by name or reputation to someone else, whether it be family or a mentor or someone you've worked with before, it is hard to create your own presence, your own name in the business. So I congratulate you on six years. I am thinking about a woman who might be listening and she's just started her business and maybe she's in year one or two and she's thinking, oh wow, six years feels like a long way off. If she's lacking some of that belief right now in herself, like she's up against a hard season in her business, or maybe she's pre-revenue and she's putting in all the effort, but it's just not happening as quickly as she'd like it. Can you share with us, were there moments in your business where you considered pulling back or stopping altogether? And what did you do to reignite your belief?

SPEAKER_02 18:20

I think when you look at any business and you see the human side of it, there is a reassurance that at one point or another, or 10 times, 20 times, the person or people backing it will have moments where they wanted to throw in the towel. Absolutely. That is the hero's journey. That is what every human on this face of this planet can resonate with is the hero's journey. So have I wanted to quit? Yes. Like a thousand times. And what I also know is just like a thousand hikes that I've been on, or when I was in labor with my kids, or the nights where I have to wear every single hat and still pull off miracles. What I know is it's one step. It's just one step. And it comes, it all works out. So when you think of quitting, I would highly suggest you just breathe. Take a hot second to pause and tell yourself the real story. So there's this acronym, and it's literally called pause, and it helps with avoidance. So when we want to quit, what we're really wanting to do is we want to avoid the perceived threat. So know that when that feeling arrives, it's a perceived threat. So we can activate the pass acronym to help us with that one step, because sometimes that one step is stupid hard. Pause. Take a hot second to breathe. That pause is not marked by time. It's marked by when you're ready to go. So a pause can be literally a breath, it can be 10 minutes, it can be two days. Whatever you want to put a measurement on your pause, it's up to you. But pause. A is ask. Ask yourself the real questions, logical questions, not manifested questions questions or things that can dilute the actual obstacle in front of you that's making you want to quit. It's very real. What is the an example would be like, what is the percentage of this failing? Okay. What is the worst case scenario? They say no, girl, tie up your shoes. They're going to say no. The first S is shift. Shift the energy, shift the story. You have to shift it somehow. So that literally could mean go for a walk, call a friend, but you have to make a shift. And then the second S is the show up. After you've paused, you've asked yourself the real questions, you've shifted the energy. The next is the actual step of showing up. So that means return, return to your desk, return to your creativity, return or go through to make something move forward. And that's all gain. And I distinctly remember my father my entire life, any conflict that would come up, whether it was relationships, work, or whatever, he would ask, What did you gain? And that's you can gain anything in every opportunity, which really helps with the show up.

SPEAKER_00 21:26

Thank you for sharing that. I think that's really powerful because for anyone of you who are in business, in career, in motherhood, thinking of starting a business, we're all going to go through these moments where we just want to give up and do something different. So I love this way of reframing and coming back to your truth and yourself and what you're working towards. It's a beautiful mission that you are driven to create. And it's also work where I imagine you're holding a lot of other people's energy and expectations and needs. How did you learn to stay in the work without losing yourself in all of that energy?

SPEAKER_02 22:07

The short form is that I failed. Within the first two and a half years of Girl Time Inc., I was holding, and remember, like 2020 to 2022, those were some pretty significant years for people, but I was holding a very large number of women. And that's where February 2022, I crashed. I was out. And I adjusted the business because of it. The girl time being business model, I think one of the reasons why it's quite unique is that it's very personal and it's also very professional. So to completely separate yourself from those two modes, I don't believe you can. I think you have to marry them and bring in the dualities of the marriage, boundaries, priorities, the word no. And when I failed, what I found was my success. I looked at the systems that were not working. And I fully realized that if I want to continue doing this, I need help in multiple different areas. I cannot wear all the hats. So to look at what I did, and actually even to go back to that question about if she wants to quit, there is this beautiful thing about adjusting. You have to adjust because it's evolution. Your business is going to evolve. You are going to evolve. You're going to change. Change is going to happen rapidly and consistently. So when you are in those processes of learning, your failures are actually great successes because they will teach you all the potholes that may not be your strength. It could be that this is where you have to delegate out. This is where you have to pull in other resources or supports or again systems or get rid of things. What I did is I changed the model. So in 2022, I removed the membership. I removed certain responsibilities that I could not captain by myself. Now, catapult to 2026, where I do have an actual space and it's designed with a membership in mind. I took all those lessons and applied them now so that I don't have to go through that cycle or that already learned lesson of depletion. So now with the model and with the hub, I have professional partnerships. Girl time will never be a nine to five. It does not operate like that because my personal life and my professional life does not align with it. It doesn't serve my children. It doesn't serve my marriage or my relationships. So I created, I designed it to reflect my priorities of time. With the professional partnerships in the hub, we share the space so that when they operate on Tuesdays and Thursdays, they can use the space Tuesdays and Thursdays. I've got Wednesday afternoon and Monday morning. It's the collaboration piece. Look for collaborators. Look for other members within your community who are magnificent at their zone of genius. Work with them because in that way you can stay in your playground that you created. I'm amazing at facilitating. I dedicated a ridiculous amount of time trying to please and make everybody happy in zones that were not mine. So those years were really spent learning and starting to communicate and articulate. Ladies, I will bring in her to lead the hike. She will come in and put on the best breath work. This is where she is amazing at pottery. I suck at that. I will jump in and facilitate the women of the round table, girl code. This is where I shine. The audience still gets the best. They actually get better than the best because they get all of us. But I designed it like that. And that's what I learned in 2022 is when I proceed, I'm going to do it with all these women beside me. I do not have to do it all. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:28

And you've perfectly described design thinking. You really have. Because it it is that you start off, you do it a certain way for as long as that works. And you learn something, and then you iterate again, and then you learn again and you iterate again. And the beautiful thing is that through line of taking the lessons from year one to three and applying them in a new way in year six that just transforms your business, your offerings, your community. So I love that you've shared really the entrepreneur's journey. I believe there are elements of an entrepreneur's journey that you can apply in any life, in any career. It's that resilience, that willingness to take the lesson and apply it somewhere else in your life, business, or career. Thank you so much for sharing your journey, but also how you took it and transformed your business to something that works for you and also serves your community at a higher level. If there's a woman right now who can see the thing she wants to build, but she's waiting for something, maybe it's some sense of permission or validation or the yes, go for it. How did you learn to give yourself permission to build your business and community in the face of people who were saying it's going to be an expensive hobby? How did you just say yes, I'm going for it?

SPEAKER_02 27:44

The inherent part is your self-worth. And self-worth to me to bestows your inner self-confidence, your ability to love. I love you, I love me, and your definition of success. Not societal's definition of success, but yours. So what's inherented in all of us is self-worth. Sometimes we just forget that it exists or we've never been taught, or it just has never come up in our radar, but it is there. And I have a million examples and can look at anybody and pull out of their story where self-worth shows up. The wisdom with the hub last July is a great example of it. If I did not make the steps to go create it, I would always wonder if I could. It's understanding that in my human experience, if I want to evolve to my next highest self, then there are going to be times where I literally just have to go. I may not have it all figured out. You know, they talk about this as the leap of faith. What it actually is, it's a practice of you getting to know your own bandwidth, what you're capable of, your capacity load, your ability to learn and grow. And that's evolution. So we know it to be true in the human experience when we step into it and we're like, oh my goodness, you do not need permission to do so. You need the belief to step. The sometimes it's like, it's like jumping out of a of an airplane skydiving. You have to have the courage. For women, lady, you have ovaries. Go. We have more drive and ambition and tenacity in us that outweighs fear every single time. And our life experiences will prove that to us if we look at our times of grit. Grit is a mixture of perseverance, passion, and endurance. Everybody has a grit story. Everybody knows grit in one facet or another. Whether that was as a child, I really wanted that cookie and they got that cookie at the end. Versus the lady who was scared to go start a business and then figured out that she could. So the inherit part is self-worth. The wisdom is in our previous life experiences where grit showed up and we proved that we are very capable of being courageous.

SPEAKER_00 30:13

I totally agree. It's important to look back. I know we don't want to live in the past, but it's important to look back to see where we've come from, what we've lived, what we've accomplished. I love that you're building this community of women that gets to hold you in moments where you may not know your own strength or feel that sense of inner confidence. Um, thank you for sharing that. I hope that's helpful to anyone who's listening and is teetering on do I just go for it? You don't need to know the whole path, just take that first step because the worst thing to your point is looking back and going, I wish I had.

SPEAKER_02 30:49

And that's regret. And there is, you know, death doulas out there who will say the number one thing that they hear when people pass is the regrets. And I was confronted with a question not too long ago about where do you find your bravery? And very simply, I find it in the places that I don't want to regret. So Yeah, that's powerful. Hiking Zion National Park right to the top. I do not want to regret that view. So if that means I have to put in 12 hours and seven minutes, let's go. And to some, that's like, oh my God. But it's also with the hub, I invested everything. I banked on me. And I was like, I'm going all out because at the end of this journey with the hub, I will say, I believed in me. And that holds far more weight than anything else does. Because at my end of days, I would never regret that.

SPEAKER_00 31:44

And I'm sure so many women in your community are so grateful that a space like the hub exists because they may not be in a position to create it for themselves. But the fact that you have created this space that they now get to participate in and grow and thrive in is such a blessing for them too.

SPEAKER_02 32:03

What I noticed in 2024, right after the first book launch, I had a epic journey upwards. I, you know, reached the top, and I had a colossal downwards and went right to the bottom. And I walked into the women of the round table, and I appears 14 women in front of me. I'm the facilitator. And I stand up in front of them and I'm like, well, ladies, I'm gonna shoot from the hip, and this is where I'm at. And I was incredibly vulnerable to where I was standing and, you know, defeat and all these things. They applauded. They didn't say anything, they applauded. What we went around and said is that it is amazing to witness each other in all aspects of our life, personally, professionally, and to do it in a space together is what creates the longhouse effect. Two years later, we now have a space that we can hold our round table and we still have these incredible moments. So when life hands you the obstacles and you are going through it, it's these moments that you've just spent with these incredible people that fuel, that give you purpose, that give you the grit, the desire to keep going, even in the face of defeat. Because really, though, again, going back to the idea of regret, you will not regret the lesson, the learned, the opportunities, or the moments that you get to spend with people who hear, who validate, who support, who witness you on those levels.

SPEAKER_00 33:47

It makes it worth all of it. Absolutely. I couldn't agree more. You shared you were on this trajectory up. Can you take us on that journey with you and share with us a little bit about the high and the low? Because there are going to be these moments. It's never going to be a straight arrow up all the time. You're going to live through a recession. You're going to live through clients being there or not being there. So if if you don't mind just sharing the highlights and what what you took from it.

SPEAKER_02 34:16

So 2024 November, I brought back the Bubbles Party as a way of launching the book, celebrating the 18 women I featured and published in the book and her story, but also to bring back the glory of the Bubbles Party. That was a massive undertaking. And being an event planner and a social butterfly, there were many, many highs because you are in your creative zone. You are collaborating and with sponsors from all over who believe in you. Like there was a there was a build to it. The book is a memoir. It is my story beside 18 other women's stories in a trajectory in a linear fashion. The life lessons that I grew along the way, and how self-worth was my North Star. The most powerful thing you can do is share your story. When the Bubbles Party that evening arrived, my energy tank was quite low. My ambassadors were working overtime. Everyone was working overtime. I arrived at the party in the sweetest dress in the best shoes. I had, you know, the look was there. I also knew that there would be people who would be coming in to the party that did not have good intentions. I knew that I was going to be faced with people who, in my story, would be considered the villains. Just as much as I knew that in this space I would be greeted and welcomed with love and support. There were more supporters than there were not. In fact, if we were to look at the 171 ladies that were in the room, there were 10 that came with swords that went right in my back. And then there was 161 that were full of celebration. But like we know in our human experience, ego and insecurities, they can dampen. You know, it takes one rotten apple to ruin a bushel. So in the Bubbles experience, the high came because my book hit bestseller within four hours of its launch. It went global. It was a massive celebration of my own story, but also to celebrate it with those 18 women that I wrote was out of this world. It was glory. Right beside that, the rotten apples were close. And what I now know is that not everybody's going to go with you. And that's not your responsibility. That is not yours to hold or to carry. At that time, I didn't know that lesson. I did not know that the swords were going to come from those 10 people, nor did I know that they were going to stab so deep. So going from an all-time high with your energy being all massive, I felt like a comment that hit the earth in that the biggest lesson was to redirect the focus, redirect the energy. Push the pause button, ask the big questions, shift the energy, and show up in a different way that really, truly deserves your energy. So those 10 swords, they came in many directions, but they left scars that are now really, truly meaningful lessons. I just didn't know that yet. But what I had that I am beyond grateful for, and which truly saved me, is that I had a support system that those swords could not touch. I had women who showed up massively, who removed the swords, cleaned the wounds, and went right back into war to defend me and protect me. My husband and my children, they witnessed me not wanting to fix it, but just to love me. And when the time came, I had several very close girlfriends essentially tell me to wash my hair, brush my teeth, and get back into life because they knew that if I wasn't going to dust myself off, that they could. So the high in the duality of life matched the low. And I found myself somewhere in between.

SPEAKER_00 38:39

And that's where I started the climb back up. Thank you for being vulnerable and open and sharing because you know, you spoke earlier of women having sisterhood wounds. And I imagine that that was a time with deep sisterhood wounds for you. And I mean, I've experienced them. I think every woman has experienced them on some level. And I think the lesson that I take from what you just shared is that not everyone is meant to travel with you to the next level of who you're becoming and what you're creating. And that release is happening for you, but it's hard to see it in the moment. And it's painful. I imagine there's a listener right now who's walking through that season. And to hear your story and to know that you will get through it and surround yourself with people who will lift you up until you're strong enough to do it on your own. Is there something this year that you're sitting with, a challenge, a lesson, a win that you want to share?

SPEAKER_02 39:36

A challenge, a lesson, and a win. Okay. Challenge. Although I celebrated six years in business, when I opened the hub, I felt like I went back in time and I'm brand new again. So the challenge there is that I feel like I have to rebuild because now I have brick and mortar. Now there is a space that is designed for us. Getting the word out, the communication, the programming, that is definitely a challenge. And there's a huge aspect of patience that has to come with it. So although I'm six years, I feel like I'm year one. The lesson that I'm really pulling from that is grace. Allow some grace and this ability to believe that there is the next step. You just don't know it yet. That's what the last six years have has taught you is that something is coming. Have patience and grace, and it will arrive right as it's supposed to arrive. The last one is the excitement, the celebration. In after that bubbles party, right after you know, my girlfriends put me back together, an opportunity arrived on my lap to go to a global writer's retreat, and I got accepted into it. So I sat at a table with global writers with pen names that made me have butterflies that I still to this day I'm just like, I can't believe I sat there. In that experience, I met one of my nearest and dearest friends. We were roommates for the week. And at the end of that week in Tuscany, Italy, yes, right on the hilltops. It was the most exceptional and transformative week ever. If you really want to know if you can become a writer, go to one of those. But at the end of that week, we said to each other that one day we will return and we will fill this villa with a whole bunch of women, our friends, and we will just celebrate life. Two weeks tomorrow, I am meeting her and a group of women back in Tuscany, Italy, at that villa so that we can do just that. Will I be writing the next book? Yes. Will we be, you know, touring the Tuscan Hills and the vineyards? Yes. But most importantly, we said it out loud. We are honoring our friendship, our word. We're returning. We're really going to be celebrating everything. And I feel that while I'm there, this patience that I've been learning about through the struggle of being brand new again. I think I'm going to have more clarity and aha moment of what is to come next.

SPEAKER_00 42:24

So beautiful. That is incredible.

SPEAKER_02 42:27

I can't wait because my like my bag is like, I'm getting all my clothes lined up. Yeah. Italy, like, truly, I'm I'm very, very excited about that opportunity.

SPEAKER_00 42:40

I'm excited for you. I can't wait to hear all about it. You and I talked previously and really connected on synchronicities and signs, like the way that life starts pointing you towards your next aligned step when you're paying attention. Eyes wide open, heart wide open. For someone who wants to trust in signs and synchronicities, but they struggle with self-doubt or other people's opinions or what it's supposed to look like or FOMO or all of those things that we're constantly bombarded with. Can you can you offer examples of signs or synchronicities that have shown up for you?

SPEAKER_02 43:16

So I struggled for the longest time to understand is this fear or is this a synchronicity? Which one am I at? Because it was like the toy in my brain of keep safe, but go forward. So years ago, I actually had a conversation with myself and the universe. And I said, fine, I'm going to pick a random thing that I don't typically see. So that when I really need a clear sign and I'm in direct conversation, I'm grounded in the earth and let's do this, that this sign will show up. So I asked for an elephant. We live in Ontario. You know, not often do you see anything that's elephant related. But when I need a clear sign, sure enough. I will see an elephant. In faith, here I come, jump, let it land where it's supposed to land. That too is a practice. That too really requires you to trust. It really requires you to listen. And unfortunately, sometimes we don't want to because fear is more comfortable and more familiar than the actual believing in the synchronicities and alignments and moments where you're like, actually, I just know an elephant, an image, or you know, sometimes it's a stuffy, anything. That's a clear sign, but not always will they arrive. And really do need to have a clear understanding of what does it mean to you.

SPEAKER_00 44:43

Right. Yeah, your inner intuition and just tapping into that more often so that when she does speak, you hear her, you recognize that voice.

SPEAKER_02 44:52

Fear's voice, intuition's voice. What does she sound like? Because they also have very distinct octaves. And that's that takes practice and deep listening to figure out the different octaves.

SPEAKER_00 45:06

For the woman who's listening and she wants to find her community with real people, like the ones who are going to mentor her and hold space for her, where should she start? What would you recommend?

SPEAKER_02 45:17

There's a real thing about commonalities. Friendships are created with that energy. They are also created in proximity and in timing. So if you're looking for communities, for friendships, for that next step, support systems, go to places that you're like, I love crocheting. Then go to the crocheting. That's easier said than done. Some people are like, I don't know where to begin. Okay. Then go towards the feeling, you know, where when you've been in amongst these people, you feel like sunshine.

SPEAKER_01 45:52

Because that is a feeling.

SPEAKER_02 45:54

You don't have to be interested in crocheting, but you could feel acceptance and love and support. So then from that place, that's when you can be like, what are you up to next? We're actually going for a run. I'm more interested in running, but it is a feeling. So when they make you feel like sunshine, and you know what that feels like. It's light, it's it's warm, it's it's energizing. Follow the feeling because it will lead you to the timing of things and the proximity that you can commit to or start to show up for. So when we need one thing, I would 100% say follow the rays. I that's such great advice.

SPEAKER_00 46:35

I love that to follow the feeling. I also feel, and this has always been my experience, is look just within your closest circle of friends because typically in any circle of friends, there's one person who's the connector. And I imagine in your circle of friends, that's you. In my circle of friends, it's me. It's the person who will do the things to pull everyone together, to organize the reunion, the party, the outing, and collaborate with them. I have this question about the women of the roundtable. What is the thing that women might not say out loud in that first session, but by the end of it, they feel really safe to share?

SPEAKER_02 47:12

The very first one, it's actually girl code number one, which is you are a trailblazer. I find that to identify themselves as a trailblazer, it makes them a little bit awkward at first because that means that they have to actually declare that they are a leader and what they're good at, what they thrive at, what they are a master at. So social learnings of not boasting about ourselves or tooting our own horns in the space at the very beginning. One of the things I actively do is that we do not declare our titles. And we only lead from a place of I am a teacher because this is what I bring to the t table. I'm a student, this is what I want to receive from the table. And I do not promise them safety at the very beginning. I promise them the opportunities to build it as we go. So their permission slip is you don't have to declare anything until you're ready, until you fully feel the safety, the support, the connection, the community, the collaboration on your own time, on your own right. But you've declared what you want and what you need, but you've also declared what you can bring. And in that, it helps give them the confidence, the boost to say, this is how I blaze trails. This is where I'm excellent at.

SPEAKER_00 48:35

I love that. And you've definitely for a woman to feel that way, you've created a genuinely safe space. So thank you so much for this conversation. You're you're always such a joy to speak with. And um, for our listeners, tell them where they can connect with you.

SPEAKER_02 48:50

The Girl Time Inc. website really does have it all. It has the, you know, the information, the tools, the next steps, but you also get to see Girl Time Inc in real time. So the pictures, the videos, it's actually when you see it, you can feel it. So I would say girltime inc.ca is the best place.

SPEAKER_00 49:09

Wonderful. We will link that in the show notes. And for our listeners today, I'm sure you've learned and absorbed so many things from today's conversation. I know what landed for me is the power of community, being around women and being in proximity to the women that hold space for you, that call you higher, women who have perhaps walked your path and who will tell you the truth and celebrate your wins in the same breath. And that kind of community doesn't happen by accident. You have to seek it out. You have to be willing to be seen in it. And sometimes you have to be the one willing to design it. So thank you for designing that community. And before you move on from this podcast episode, I would love to ask two things, please. Send this episode to a woman in your world as an active building community. And please leave a review on this episode for Ashley because every review helps us to grow our reach and bring more incredible women like yourself into our space.