Fifty Is a Portal: Why You're Not Slowing Down - You're Just Getting Started

If you've been  holding your breath about a number. whether it's three years away or three years behind you, this one is for you.

In this solo episode, Ameera opens up about what she carried as her own 50th birthday approached, including the quiet fear that she might not see fifty at all after losing people she loves. She shares why she left a safe job in her late forties, went all-in on her business after a layoff, and what the people around her actually said when she did. Then she hands you proof. Recent research from the Global Entrepreneurship Monitor names women over fifty the fastest-growing group of entrepreneurs in the world - about one in four new entrepreneurs today. She shares stories of the real women who are starting businesses, pivoting careers, and bringing their big, bold dreams to life in their fifties.  

This is the conversation you need about the beauty and power of crossing the threshold into fifty. 

Highlights:
[02:22] | What We're Naming | The  load, the fears we carry as 50 approaches
[06:03] | The Hard Turnings | Menopause, aging, caring for parents — named honestly
[07:00] | Why This Matters to Me | Held the breath, crossed the doorway, still here
[08:30] | My Late-Forties Launch | Leaving a safe job, the layoff, going all-in
[12:15] | The Evidence — One in Four | GEM research on women over 50 as the fastest-growing entrepreneurs
[14:00] | Famous Names, Real Women | Julia Child, Arianna Huffington, Martha Stewart, Julie Wainwright — and the clients Ameera coaches
[18:00] | $15 Trillion | You don't disappear at 50. You become the market.
[19:00] | The Reframe — Fully Expressed | Not winding down. Just getting started.
[20:56] | The Cost of the Old Story | What it costs to disappear ahead of schedule
[22:39] | The Invitation to Rise | Two practices to carry into the week
[26:01] | A Word for the Women at the Threshold | Plus the invitation to share your wisdom from across the threshold.
[28:30] | Coming Home: The Close | The foundation, the next chapter, the magic

Connect With Ameera Virani

 Website: www.ameeravirani.com
Instagram: @ameera.virani
LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/ameeravirani/

If this episode inspired you, please hit subscribe and leave a review. 

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The Designed Life with Ameera Virani and all associated content is intended for general informational, educational, and inspirational purposes only. The insights shared on this podcast, as well as any linked resources or materials, are not a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This podcast is not intended to replace the guidance of a licensed therapist, medical professional, financial advisor, or other qualified professionals. Always seek the advice of your personal support team.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:02

Hi, thanks so much for joining me on The Designed Life. Before we begin today, wherever you are, whether you're out walking or driving or folding the laundry that never seems to end, can I invite you to just take a deep breath in? Inhale and exhale and let your shoulders drop just like an inch, just so today we arrive fully present and in our bodies, just aware of how our bodies feel. This episode is really created for the woman who may be holding her breath about a specific number in life. Now, maybe that number is three years away for you, or it's three years behind you. Either way, you've likely been told a story or you've created your own narrative about what turning 50 is supposed to mean. Perhaps there's been the idea of slowing down, or you've heard rumors about how women sort of feel like society sees them as disappearing, or doesn't value them in the same way when they turn 50. And there may even be some horror stories around health and menopause and a career and what what it looks like when you are 50 and perhaps you make a career transition or you're on the other side of a layoff. And in that narrative, you may have potentially absorbed a sense that the best of us as women is somehow behind us once we turn 50. And today, I want to hand you a different story. I want to invite a different narrative. And I'm not just gonna tell you that this is a true story, but I really want to be able to show you. I want to give you real examples of real women, real numbers, including some of the women I coach who are doing life differently in their 50s.

SPEAKER_01 2:16

Because here's the frame for this whole hour. Because here's the frame for this conversation.

SPEAKER_00 2:28

50 is not a door closing. 50 is a beautiful portal that is opening. And on the other side of it, women don't fade. They just get better, they become more fully expressed. So when you picture turning 50, or perhaps you're already living your 50s, but what is the first feeling that arrives for you? Just, I just want you to be aware of the feeling that comes up because in due time, in this conversation, we will come back to that feeling. And so I just think it's important for you to give yourself space to feel it and to name it and to hold on to it for a few minutes. So I also want to share what I believe and what I've experienced, so many of us actually hold as 50 gets close. For a lot of us, we're doing the thinking, we're doing some worrying, perhaps we're even holding some fear because there's still so much that we want to get done in life. And we may now be looking at life and going, wow, there's more years behind me than there are ahead of me. And so, how am I going to get to everything that I've wanted to get done? And why did I leave things for so late? How did this come about so quickly? How did this time arrive so quickly? Perhaps you're performing at work, you know, in your late 40s. You're maybe even at the highest level you've ever been in your career or your business. Maybe you're like me and you're starting the thing, the business, the second act or the third act, and you're still raising kids and saving for education and saving for your own retirement and building a life that you truly desire. And you're now maybe showing up for your parents in a different way because they need you differently now. And beneath the logistics, those fears linger. That worry starts to grow. Not to mention our bodies are changing in ways we didn't choose. We talk about menopause, and I'm so thankful that we talk about it more and more. And we have more voices in this space, in this health area of menopause than I think we've ever had before. But we also hear the stories that come along with that, and they can give us cause to be concerned because we hear about what it does to a woman's energy and bone density and muscle and sleep and sharpness and all the things. So we're almost bracing for it a little bit before 50 has even arrived. We're holding some hesitation and some fear and some stress. And I'm not going to pretend that those turnings aren't real. They are. This isn't a hallmark greeting card telling you 50 is the most fabulous thing you'll ever experience, although there are some really fabulous moments because menopause is real. And I still haven't found anything great about menopause. So I'm sorry. I can't offer you that. Aging is real. Caring for your parents while you're still raising your own kids is real. And it can feel heavy. But here's what I've also learned: the hard turnings, the hard parts are not the headline of the story. They're not the headline of the story. So what's the fear about this chapter of your life that you're holding as you, as you kind of stand on the threshold of it? And for those of you who have already crossed that threshold and are into your 50s, is there a fear that you once held that now perhaps you've released or you've been able to reframe? I just want you to give a moment to think about that and to reflect on that for yourself. Because oftentimes we can be moving towards a milestone in our life, but we don't really give ourselves the time to pause and reflect and turn inward to ask ourselves, how do I feel? And how do I want to feel? Or what was true then at 48, 49 that is no longer true at 51, 52, 53? So for me personally, this question of fear matters because I know as I got close to my own turning 50, I wasn't just bracing for horror stories about menopause or how I was gonna look at a piece of cake and put on five pounds. Okay, which is true for me, by the way. The truth is, I had watched people I love dearly not make it to this doorway. So the number stopped being about a birthday, and it became that threshold that I wasn't even sure I was going to be allowed to cross. I held a real fear that I wouldn't see 50. I had lost my father when he was he was in his 40s. My sister passed just one month shy of her 50th birthday. I had lost dear friends at a very young age. And so I held this very quiet fear, but nonetheless, it was strong in my heart and in my mind that would I even see the age of 50. And so I held that for a long time. The good news is in a few weeks I will be turning 52. And I crossed that threshold and I'm still here. And this is why I'm really not interested in handing you positive affirmations today. I'm interested in talking to you about the reality of turning 50 and also handing you evidence that there is so much beauty on the other side of this threshold that you are about to walk through. So I want to offer you those stories of real women and not just hope. So let's start with the proof I know best, which is my own. In my late 40s, I left a job that was considered safe and steady. It had a pension. It was, you know, it was the job your your mom always wanted for you. Like, you know, that safe, steady thing. I left that job and I went into my passion work for a small nonprofit. And 18 months later, I was laid off from that job because of downsizing, because of lack of funding. And I had already started a part-time business, but it wasn't nearly at a place where it could sustain my full, you know, my family the way my full-time income had. So here I was in my late 40s, part-time in a business, had lost my job, and thinking, I'm gonna go all in. I'm not gonna look for another job. I'm gonna go all in on my business. And I want you to hear what the world of people around me said when I made that decision. There were very few close people close, near and dear to me, who were thrilled, who were excited, who were happy. And then there were quite a few who were shocked. You know, who were really shocked, saying, don't you want to just get a job and slow down and plan for retirement? Is this really the time that you want to be winding up a new business, knowing full well what it takes to build a business? And here's the thing that I really want you to take in. My 50s have not looked like winding down at all. I made the choice with the support of my family to go all in on my business. All along, all alongside my husband and I still raising two young children, ages 10 and 13, saving for their education, saving for our retirement at the same time, paying a mortgage. My 50s are full and loud and continuing to build. And that's kind of the main thing I want you to hear here is that 50 looks different for everyone. Depending on the life you're designing, there's no singular script. So don't let anyone else's picture or story or beliefs about what 50 is supposed to be decide how you're going to design yours. Because if you've been measuring your life against what you think 50 is supposed to look like, like please put the ruler down. Stop, stop measuring it that way. There is no supposed to, there is no formula. There is only the life you're choosing for yourself. And it's a life that is going to allow you to one day look back and say, I'm so glad I did the thing. I'm so glad I didn't stop when people told me it wasn't a good idea. I'm so glad I trusted my voice, my instinct. And here's the evidence that I want to share with you that hopefully will help you to feel safer in that choice. You're not the exception. You are part of a movement of women that right now is actually being called the fastest growing group of entrepreneurs in the world. If starting a business is something that you desire to do, recent research from the Global Entrepreneurship Monitor found that women over 50 are the fastest growing group of entrepreneurs worldwide. We now account for around 26% of all new entrepreneurs. And one in four people who start a business right now is a woman over 50. One in four people starting a business right now is a woman over 50. That is the fastest growing group on the planet. And many of those women aren't starting from a clean slate. They're starting after a layoff like me, or a career plateau, or after years of caregiving and years of being in hard places. So that means if your pivot is coming from somewhere really hard, you are not the exception. You are exactly where the most powerful entrepreneurial wave on the planet is starting. It's not from scratch. You're starting from everything you know, from everything you've lived and experienced and learned. You're bringing all of that with you into your next 10, 15, 20, 25, 30 years. And if you want names, famous names attached to that movement as well, here are a few that you already know. Okay, going back a bit here to Julia Child, think about it. She didn't publish her first cookbook until she was 49. And her television fame came at the age of 51. Ariana Huffington founded the Huffington Post at 54. And then, I believe it was six years later, she sold it for $315 million. And just so you know how arbitrary the too-late story is that people often tell us, Martha Stewart didn't launch her core brand until age 50. After transitioning her catering business into a magazine, she transformed it into a billion-dollar lifestyle empire. Julie Wainwright. She started in her mid-50s to found the Real Real, which is an authenticated luxury consignment retailer, and it's now worth over a billion dollars. But honestly, the names you know aren't even the proof that really moves me the most. It's the everyday woman. It's the real women like you and I, the women I coach. Right now in my practice, I'm watching women in their late 40s and early 50s do exactly this: choose their next path. Whether it's a change in career, whether it's going for that C-suite position, that CEO level, that board level position, whether it is starting a business, writing a book, they're doing the things. Real women like you and I are making those bold decisions. I have a client who spent 30 years in finance, in the finance sector, a fairly still today, a fairly male-dominated industry. She couldn't handle it anymore, and she pivoted into building a business, teaching wealth to women. Something she had been wanting to do for a very long time. And when she finally decided to create her business, that was when her company came to her and said, What can we do to get you to stay? Why would you want to leave now to start a business? Another woman is working full-time and building her art business on the side. She's tapping into her own creative expression and turning it into something that will drive revenue for her and her family. And one of my favorite past clients is a woman who, as she was getting into her 50s, she had was just turning 50, decided to learn to play the guitar and to take vocal lessons. She loved singing, she loved music, and she hadn't done it since she was a child. But she decided to just start, not to perform or to go out and monetize it, but simply because she loves music and expressing herself. And she finally gave herself permission to infuse that joy into her life. What a simple thing to do, to decide to just take up a hobby with passion and devote time to it. But what an incredible transformation it can make in your life and how you experience your life. And I want you to really notice, though, that not one of those women is doing it to prove something. They're actually doing it because they finally let themselves want what they want and go after it. And that's what really is on the other side of this portal of 50. And here's the part that nobody tells us. And I'm I want to share it with you because I think it really reframes everything. If you've ever felt invisible as you approach this decade of 50, right? Like the culture stops seeing you. I really want you to hear a number. Women over 50 hold around $15 trillion in purchasing power. We make the majority of household spending decisions. We are not a niche. We are not fading into the background. By the numbers, we're actually the most powerful consumers in the room. So any story that said you'd become invisible at 50, the data suggests otherwise. You don't disappear at 50. I truly believe that you are just getting started. So here's the reframe that I wanted to hand to you. 50 is a portal. And the women who walk through it, the women that I've known who have walked through it, they're nowhere near slowing down. They are just beginning to become fully expressed. I mean, think about the word expressed. It means that something was held back or restrained or kept quiet or made small. And now there's almost like we give ourselves permission to set it free. And that's that's how so many women describe being on the other side of 50. They finally go do the thing. They say the things, they tell the truth, they speak their minds, they speak their hearts, they wear the clothing. They take up the space that they spent most of their lives making themselves smaller for. So that desire in you to create and to serve and to leave an imprint on this world, it doesn't fade at 50. It actually just gets louder, it intensifies. So you're nowhere near the end of your story. You are at the part where you finally probably stop asking permission. And when that personal power, when you step into that personal power, it is almost indescribable. And I don't know a lot of women who can really put it into words so that it fully captures the feeling because it's not a loud feeling. It's it's settled. It's the power that you hold when you're done proving and you're just ready to live. You're ready to just live out loud, fully expressed. And like for a minute, let's just be honest about what the old narrative costs, right? When we actually believe that 50 is about slowing down and disappearing and getting ready for retirement or whatever that narrative is, we start disappearing ahead of schedule, right? We start to like pack up the box a little earlier, you know, we start like slowing down and quietening ourselves and quieting our dreams a little bit. We postpone the trip, we don't write the book, we don't start the business, we we keep ignoring the dream that won't leave us alone. And we tell ourselves that it's too late. And what's really ironic is that if you go back 10 years and had those ideas, you probably told yourself you had a lot of time to get it done. I'll do it later. There's lots of time. And now you'll cross this threshold and use that as the excuse to say, well, it's not enough time. I don't have it's too late to do this now. Women spend so much. Much time devoted to everyone else, the kids, the work, our parents, our partner, our community. And somewhere in all that devotion, which is beautiful, by the way, we took ourselves off our own list. And we didn't even notice that it happened. But the real cost isn't just the delayed dream. It's the version of you that never got to be fully expressed because she was waiting for permission or she was waiting for the right time.

SPEAKER_01 22:39

So here's the invitation, if you'll take it.

SPEAKER_00 22:43

On the other side of this portal, meanings shift, timelines shift. Wealth stops being only a number and it becomes a life experience that's actually yours. You hold your health with so much more gratitude, not less. But health looks different. It's more than just how you look. It's so much about how you feel and the energy that you bring. Time becomes more precious. So much so that you stop spending your time on proving things to people, on consuming things that really don't light you up anymore. You become very intentional about what you say yes to and what you say no to. You'll start to care less about other people's approval because you're not here to prove anything. You're here to honor yourself and the people and the work that you love. So you become less fixated on what other people think and say. You also become less fixated on the outcome and far more curious about the journey and where it's going to take you and what you'll learn along the way, who you'll meet, how you'll feel, knowing that you just took that step.

SPEAKER_01 24:09

And you'll be grateful for the story that you'll write along the way.

SPEAKER_00 24:15

So I'd love to offer you these two things to carry into your week. One is when the old story pops up, whether it's someone who says it to you, so it could be someone else's narrative, or whether it's your own. And that story is saying, it's too late, there isn't time. I want you to come up with an answer that contradicts it. Something like, I'm not winding down, I'm just getting started. Something that invites the excitement for 50. Say it out loud a few times at first and let it just take hold in your heart. And if there is something that you've been holding back, maybe it is the business that you want to start, or maybe it's a trip that you've been wanting to take with your family, or learning the piano or the guitar, or taking up a new language, writing the book. Maybe you've been waiting to explore a new offer at work, or hey, maybe you've even just been procrastinating on dating again. I want you to name that thing for yourself, but then also take even just one small action toward it this week. One step toward it, just one step on the staircase. I always say you don't need to see the whole staircase in order to take the first step. Just take one step and trust that the next one will light up when you're ready. So, what's the one thing you've been holding back on? And what's the smallest step that you could take toward it this week? And I'd love to just speak to two different women for a moment. There's the woman who's approaching this threshold of 50, and maybe you're still bracing. Maybe you're like, oh, I don't want to turn 50. I'm not looking forward to it. I mean, I have known women who have quite seriously had anxiety around the age. Okay. I know what's probably on your mind. You might be absorbing those stories we talked about that other people share, and you're absorbing them as your own, perhaps. And maybe that's what's evoking a little bit of fear or hesitation. Make a decision to walk toward 50 differently. Give yourself permission now, before you even arrive at that threshold, to go there with excitement, with curiosity, with the freedom to become fully expressed as a woman. And to the woman who's already inside her 50s, like me, right? You're the living proof. Whatever this decade has already shown you, there could be some hard turnings that you've gone through. Maybe you've also experienced that unexpected freedom. It's been teaching you something. And I want to invite you not to keep that to yourself. So here's something that you can actually do this week. And it actually matters more than you may know. Wherever you're listening, whether it's Spotify or Apple or Amazon, wherever you're listening, please leave a review on this episode. But in that review, include the most eye-opening thing this chapter of your life has taught you or is teaching you. Just even one line. Maybe it's the thing you didn't see coming or didn't expect, or the thing that you're so grateful for because another woman is going to read that and it's going to change the narrative that she may be holding right now. And it's going to help her decide how to walk through that threshold. Your one line might be the proof that allows her to exhale and drop her shoulders a little. So I would be grateful for you to do that. So if you are standing at the threshold of 50, uncertain, afraid, carrying a heavy load about what you think it's supposed to mean, here's what I want to leave you with. You already have an incredible story to celebrate and to bring with you into your 50s, the places you've been, the people you've loved and impacted and influenced, the career and business or life that you've designed, even when it was hard and even when it didn't always look like you planned. But remember, that's not the finished story. That's just the foundation. And this next chapter, it may just be the one that you've been looking forward to all along, the one where you finally get to be fully expressed as a woman. 50, turning 50 for me has been a portal. And on the other side, there's just the magic of who you are becoming. If this landed for you, if you have thoughts, ideas, questions that you'd love to share, please leave a review or reach out to me on Instagram or LinkedIn. I would absolutely be honored to hear from you. And send this episode to a woman in your life who's nearing this doorway as well. And share it with her. Have a conversation and plan. Plan for how magnificent this next era of your life gets to be. Until next week, thank you for joining me and remember to design your most exquisite life.